I once cleaned an old woman’s swimming pool (I used to be a pool girl) who had an adorable orange tabby cat. Every week the gray-haired woman would sit on her patio lounge and warn me about cats as I netted leaves out of the pool.
“Don’t let ’em look in yer eyes. They’ll steal your soul.”
She’d say it over and over again like a broken record.
The first time she said it I asked her, “How do they steal your soul?”
She motioned toward her cat who would be circling the edge of the pool with tail in the air, “I wake up in the middle of the night and she’s there, on my chest, staring in my eyes.”
With a the sharp hiss of her old, dry mouth she’d say, “they sssteal your sssoul. You just can’t look in their eyesss.”
That little old woman’s story has stuck with me forever, and now I’m passing it on to you. If a cat’s gaze is that powerful, how much more a man or a woman’s gaze?
Dating and Relationship Coaches everywhere say that eye contact is the single most powerful way to connect. We’ve heard it so many times it’s become a cliché.
But buried in that old woman’s story is not just that the cat was looking into her eyes. A cat can look deep into your eyes from across the room and your soul will stay intact, right? (We know this!)
So where did the magic soul stealing ability come from? Can you guess what it is?
For one, it’s the element of surprise! When something surprises you, like the cat on the woman’s chest when she woke, a chemical reaction in your body happens called a dopamine squirt (squirt is a scientific word, I promise). Dopamine causes that fight or flight response that can translate into passion when given all the magic elements.
What other element was there?
Touch! The cat was on her chest. Its entire body pressing in so she felt it and all her senses were jolted right when she woke up.
So, if you want to reach out and be noticed, you can also combine those three elements and create an instant connection with someone in a moment. You too, like the orange Tabby cat, can cause someone to take notice and literally lodge a moment in their memory bank.
In summary, the three elements that create instant connection learned from an old woman, a cat, and a hot female swimming pool cleaner (yes I said it) are:
Eye contact + touch + the element of surprise = connection
You can do this simply by getting a persons attention of who’s soul you so desperately want to steal. In the middle of an unexpected time stop all things, put your hand on them lightly, gently turn them toward you and look into their eyes while you brush their hair out of the way.
If you feel creepy doing that (and it may come across creepy in a new relationship), there’s a plethora of ways to achieve this winning, soul stealing combo.
I would love to know if you use the winning soul stealing combo, ETS (Eye, Touch, Surprise) to capture someone’s heart and ‘steal their soul’. Meet me over at bringbackthefire.com or listen to my weekly podcast where we talk about wildly creative ways to connect in bed at sleepwithanne.com